Partners in Care Conference Highlights
Our 13th Annual Partners in Care Conference held on December 6th was a wonderful day of inspiration, education, and fellowship. As always, everyone seemed to appreciate the opportunity to reconnect and to learn how they can better support the needs of children and families. Despite snowy weather, 189 individuals participated in the day’s events. Workshops gave participants an opportunity to listen and learn from each other, share challenges as well as successes, and to find time for healing and laughter. A review of the workshops and some practical applications or references for more information follow.
Ann Turnbull, Co-Director of the Beach Center on Disability in Lawrence, KS, presented an inspiring keynote address entitled, "Conditioning for the Family Quality of Life Marathon." She also conducted a follow-up workshop on "Enhancing the Likelihood That Services Will Lead to Improved Quality of Life." Ann highlighted and discussed five key domains of family quality of life and shared experiences from her own family and other families of triumphs and setbacks in "conditioning" for the family marathon across decades. For more information on Ann’s research visit www.beachcenter.org. The family quality of life domains are: health and safety, support for persons with disabilities, family resources, family interaction, and parenting.
Empowering
Parents: Helping Children and Families Cope with Behavioral Issues
This
workshop led by Elaine Lerner was helpful to the many parents and professionals
who attended the standing-room-only seminar. The session began with a moving
video presentation, "Don't Laugh at Me", produced by Peter, Paul and Mary.
Accepting our differences, understanding the child's behavior and then
managing it in a healthy way became the theme for the presentation.
Russell
Barkley, PhD, an internationally known expert in the field of ADHD, believes
parents must develop skills to become Principle-Centered. The seven principles
are listed below:
1.
Be Proactive. Far too often we react to our children’s behavior, often
on impulse without regard to the consequences and with no plan for what
we are trying to achieve. Seeing a situation from a reactive frame of mind
can somehow make things look hopeless. It is not what your child does,
or does to you that creates these problems, but instead it is your response.
Take the initiative to change what you do not like in the way you react
to your child and accept the responsibility to make the relationship happen
in the way you want it to.
2.
Begin with the end in mind. When faced with a problem, first try to
envision how you want it to turn out. Beginning with the end in mind, helps
us focus more clearly on what matters most and to see what we must do to
make situations turn out the way we would like. Having a project such as
completing a homework assignment end with smiles and laughter would be
great! Your relationship with your child and the manner in which smaller
interactions turn out by design or be default are entirely up to you.
3.
Put first things first. Prioritize what is important and what is not
important for you as well as for your child. Don’t get caught up in conflicts
over trivial issues that cause you to win the battle and lose the war.
4.
Think Win/Win. All interactions between individuals are a form of negotiation.
Don’t just concentrate on what you want your child to do. Begin with the
end in mind envisioning a win/win situation. Choose a reward you think
would be appealing and make it a part of the verbal contract. This way
you will be thought of as a respectful negotiator.
5.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. First seek to understand
from your child’s point of view and make what is important to them important
to you. Your love for your child is the foundation of emotional support
they count on. Love is given with no strings attached and is not dependent
upon how well they behaved today, did in school, in sports, or how many
friends they have. Build up trust with your child by being honest, kind
and courteous and by keeping your promises. Only then can you seek to make
yourself understood.
6.
Synergize. Work with your child in creative cooperation, and strive
to combine all of the foregoing principles into your interactions. Be open
to new outcomes even though they may be unpredictable. This allows the
greatest powers within people to be unleashed. Value the differences between
your child and others. There may be, in fact, several excellent ways to
work together in facing the challenges life holds for both of you.
7.
Renewal. Too often parents of children with ADHD devote much of their
time and energy to their children, and in the process, exhaust themselves.
Failing to take time to renew yourself physically, mentally, socially/emotionally,
and spiritually can cause you to have shutdown and have less time and energy
to devote to your child. The best gift you can give yourself is the gift
of self-renewal.
Dr.
Barkley’s ideas are reprinted with permission in an article by Elaine Lerner
entitled, "Joys and Frustrations of Raising an ADHD Child".
Elaine
Lerner, MSW, CSW is an ADHD, ADD and ODD parent trainer. For information
on workshops contact her at (802) 660-4981 or WWW.ADHDParentTrainer.com
Three
Keys to Living Well: Taking Care of Ourselves While Caring for Others
Lynn
Grieger, RD, Nutrition Consultant, Dena Foster Dentone, Certified Yoga
Instructor, and Rhonda Costes, Certified Massage Therapist assured that
participants would learn and practice some techniques for healthy eating,
yoga and massage. Each one showed practical ways to promote health and
to be proactive in incorporating wellness into our daily lives. Lynn's
practical ideas stressed variety, moderation and balance in food choices,
always keeping family priorities in mind. Dena gave a succinct insight
into yoga and took the group through some simple yoga postures. Rhonda
kept everyone relaxed by talking about and demonstrating massage techniques.
She shared some ways to incorporate massage into daily life, for people
of all ages.
Anti-Anxiety
Breath
1. Sit
comfortably (or lay down or stand up). Close your eyes. Relax your jaws.
2. Inhale
through your nostrils slowly, smoothly and as deeply as possible without
strain. Breathe as quietly as you can.
3. Exhale
steadily, focusing your attention on the area just above your navel.
4. Before
inhaling again, mentally count ‘one thousand’, ‘two thousand’. (The idea
is to lengthen the exhalation phase of each respiration.)
5. Repeat
steps 2 to 4, in smooth succession again and again, until you feel calm.
Practical Tips for Healthy Eating
Smoothie
Madness
Per
serving: ½ - 1 cup liquid such as milk, yogurt, soy mild, fruit
juice, or water and
½
- 1 cup fruit (frozen, fresh, canned).
Put
all ingredients in the blender and blend until smooth.
If your child is enrolled in CSHN and is at nutrition risk, a local CSHN nutrition consultant is available to work with your family. For information, contact Molly Holland, RD, MPH, 802-865-7709.
Pain
Assessment and Management in Infants, Children, and Adolescents
Patrick
McGrath, PhD, Professor of Psychology, Pediatrics, and Psychiatry at Dalhousie
University, introduced the workshop with an overview of the importance
of pain to health and quality of life for children and the need for pain
measurement in clinical practice. Three methods of measurement were described
and many examples of self-report, behavioral, and biological pain measures
were presented and described.
Jean
Coffey, RN, MS, PNP, Clinical Instructor at the University of Connecticut
School of Nursing, spoke about the importance of pain assessment and management
across the continuum of health care settings (e.g., hospitals, out-patient
clinics, specialty clinics, etc.) and at home. The importance of developing
child, parent, and professional partnerships to provide culturally sensitive
and developmentally appropriate pain management was emphasized. Specific
examples of non-pharmacological pain management interventions were described.
Rob Williams, MD, Associate Professor of Anesthesia and Pediatrics, UVM
and FAHC, discussed various pharmacological approaches to managing post-operative
and procedural pain. He also emphasized the important role of parents in
supporting good pain management.
Summer
Services Within Your Community (The Extended School Year – ESY)
Lynette
Over of the Vermont Parent Information Center (VPIC), talked with families
about what summer services (the Extended School Year - ESY) could look
like for their children. Families left this workshop with concrete ideas
to help plan for their child's summer program. For the most detailed information
concerning summer services visit VPIC’s website at www.vtpic.com. VPIC
will also be offering this workshop
on April
15th at 6:30 PM at the Castleton Family Health Center.
Achieving,
Behaving Caring:
Building
Family Teacher Community Partnerships to Support Children’s Early Development
It is
not crisis management, but early prevention. It is not an adversarial IEP
meeting, but a home-school collaborative that is strength and knowledge-based.
Presenters described a successful working model of communication and respect
that uses Parent Liaisons and Parent-Teacher Action Research (PTAR). The
School Research Office at UVM is helping to build partnerships between
schools and local Parent-Child Centers by training Parent Liaisons to act
as a link between homes, schools and agencies. For more information, check
www.uvm.edu/~schrsrch or call 802-656-8551.
As the
theme of our conference suggests, "quality of life matters." Our sincerest
thanks to all who shared their time, energy and expertise with families
and professionals at this year’s conference.
SAVE THE DATE – Join us for the 14th Annual Partners in Care Conference on Thursday, December 4, 2003 at the Sheraton Hotel and Conference Center in Burlington
Thanks again to our Conference sponsors (click to view) ©
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