Our dear sweet Ethan was born on Dec. 20, 2002, and passed away on May 24, 2005, at the age of 2-1/2. Over his short lifetime he suffered from an undiagnosed seizure disorder and numerous other medical issues. Ethan was a gentle soul that found pleasure in simple things like lying on the grass looking up through the pine trees to the sky, feeling the wind blowing through his hair, and watching the movement of rainbows cast from a crystal.

Ethan had his own way of communicating and had the gift of building a community of loving, caring people around him. Although his time with us was too brief, Ethan touched many lives. As Ethan’s parents, we feel so fortunate to have had the support of all the amazing people who worked toward making Ethan’s life the fullest it could be. The following essay was written as a thank you to all those wonderful people.

For our daughters it has been the midnight visit of fairies that has helped them through our son Ethan’s illness and subsequent death. For them, over the past two summers, the place in our backyard below the rhododendrons has been enchanted. It is here, below the shrub, that our daughters with the help of their mother built a fairy house. They carpeted their house with transplanted moss and adorned it with flowers and feathers and left such treats as berries crushed up and scooped into bowls made out of pistachio shells.

It is to this concealed place that our girls have been drawn as soon as they wake up. Barefoot and in pajamas, they tiptoe and move surreptitiously across the patio to the rhododendron. They scream with delight to see that their efforts on the previous day had been worthwhile. Gold fairy dust covers the leaves and mossy ground below. Upon further inspection they find a small crystal ball, silver charms, tiny bottles and baskets, bird nests...

It was our hope that Ethan too would join his sisters in discovering the treasures in the fairy house. While Ethan could not run with excitement as our daughters did to find the enchantment of the fairy house, he  himself became a fairy house: beautiful, delicate, magical, and ephemeral. 

Early on, Ethan enticed his fairies with his dimpled smile, happy cooing sounds and his graceful hand movements. Eventually he could no longer leave these gifts, but the more subtle ones, like a gentle sigh after being kissed, grew more precious.  

But, unlike the discreet nocturnal visits of the fairies below the rhododendron, Ethan’s fairies became intimately a part of our family’s lives. Ethan’s fairies took such loving care of him while the physical structure of his fairy house tried to withstand so many storms. These fairies continually worked with his fragile framework to make it as strong, rich, and full as it could possibly be. Like the charms left in the fairy house below the rhododendron, we valued every treasure Ethan’s fairies bestowed upon us. 

It was Ethan’s fairies that helped our family weather many difficult periods. Meals magically appeared day after day during challenging times in Ethan’s illness and it was fairies that ensured that our daughters made it to and from school.  It was fairies that knew our wishes for Ethan’s memorial service, many of which were unspoken. And without Ethan’s fairies, we could not have begun the sensory garden in his memory.

Rachel, Ethan, Talia, Richard, & Maya