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Popcorn & Skittles: A Circle of Friends Story

  Today eight boys from Joshua’s 5th grade class are going to meet with the Special Education teacher. When they walk into her classroom they see a table with chairs around it. In the middle of table they see a big pile of Skittles and a big pile of popcorn. The teacher says hello and motions to the boys to take a seat. The teacher waits for them to settle down in their chairs, and then asks them to each take some of the popcorn and make a circle in front of him with the popped kernels. Each kernel of popcorn represents the different people in their lives: family, family friends, and neighbors, but not school friends. When they are done, she instructs them to take more popcorn and make another circle on the outside of the family one. In this outer circle, each kernel represents people in their lives that are paid to be there. Like the dentist, the doctor, a teacher.
    Each boy now has two circles of popcorn in front of him. The teacher says, “Now take some Skittles and just inside your popcorn family circle, make another circle. In this one, each Skittle is a friend. Not a good friend, more like an acquaintance. Someone in your class you like, but may not know very well. Someone you say ‘Hi’ to in the hall.”
    When the boys are done with this Skittle circle, the teacher instructs them to get more Skittles to make the last circle in the very middle of their circles. She says, “In this one, each Skittle represents a best buddy. Someone you might call at home, see on weekends, maybe have sleep over.”
    The boys finish and look around at their bulls-eye artwork covering the table. The teacher then says, “I’m going to do the circles for Joshua, because he can’t do them himself.” She takes some popcorn and as she makes Joshua’s family circle, she tells the boys, “This is Josh’s mom, his aunt Jo and her husband Ken, and their two children. Here’s Josh’s uncle Kraye and his wife Taylore.” Then the teacher takes more popcorn and makes the second circle on the outside of Josh’s family. This circle is the biggest one on the whole table. Joshua has lots of people that are paid to be in his life. He has all the one’s the other boys have, like the doctor and the dentist, plus he has speech therapists, occupational therapists, social workers, special teachers, and personal care attendants. It is a big circle.
Joshua    Then the teacher puts her hands in her lap and waits. One of the boys asks, “What about Josh’s Skittles?” And the teacher says, “Well you see, Josh doesn’t have any Skittles.” One boy speaks up, “Because he doesn’t talk?” Another boy jumps in, “Or because he screams sometimes?” And another boy asks, “Or because he lies down on the floor in the hall?” The teacher says, “Yes, I suppose all those things are part of it. When someone is different than you, it can be hard to figure out how to be his friend, right?” The boys nod and the teacher continues, “And it’s hard for him too, because he doesn’t know how to be friends either. That’s why I asked all of you to come here today. I was wondering if maybe you guys would be interested in forming a group that would meet every week and learn how to be friends with Josh, and teach Josh how to be friends too?”
    The boys are quiet. They look at their hands, or their shoes, or their circles of popcorn and Skittles. After a minute, one boy looks at the teacher and then reaches over and picks up one of his Skittles from his middle circle and says, “Can we start now? Can I give Josh one of my Skittles?” Then another boy speaks up, “Can I give Josh one of my Skittles too?” And another boy says, “Me too!” until there are eight Skittles in Joshua’s circle. 
©

Joshua Melton is a student at Camel's Hump Middle School now in his second year of participating in a Circle of Friends. This story is a depiction of his first Circle of Friends meeting.
The 'monumental results' of this first meeting is told in the 2006 Circle of Friends article.


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