Our Peer Support program, called the One-to-One Match, is the heart of Parent to Parent and the cornerstone that builds the foundation for all of our other programs to be successful. It is by this very network of families that we are able to support families whose children have a chronic illness or disability and/or may have been born prematurely. From this network of families we are able to select our family faculty who are instrumental in teaching family-centered care practices in their communities.

The One-to-One Match is a unique form of support that only a peer can offer. This model of support is based on perceived sameness and the principal that the Supporting Parent "has been there", which is reflected in the empathy shown for the referred parent's experience.

The parent asking for a match (Referred Parent) often calls just after the news of the initial diagnosis. Many families seek this peer support when they are facing changes in their lives, such as hospitalization, significant developmental events, transitions, or coping with day to day activities at home, in school or their communities.

Once we receive the call either from the parent seeking support or from a referral source, we talk with the parent about what they want from their match experience. Families typically request a match around the diagnosis or degree of the disability, age of the child, geographic location, family structure, siblings, and other specific and individualized needs and interests.

After gathering as much family information as the parent wishes to share, we search our database for the Supporting Parent who can best meet the parent's request (see "How we use your info"). We narrow our search from the 217 trained Supporting Parents to two or three that would best fit this match request. We contact the Supporting Parents to check for availability. Once the match is confirmed, we follow up with letters to both the Referred and Supporting Parents detailing the match. We understand how busy families are and the stages their own families go through, so when a Supporting Parent is unavailable to do a match we want them to share that with us. This process works smoothly most of the time, and if we do not have a person who can be matched around the Referred Parent's requirements, we try to adjust where possible or offer a match through another state's Parent to Parent or through a national organization.

Supporting Parents are volunteers who have a son or daughter with a disability or chronic illness and have had at least one year to live with the changes in their lives. They attend a Supporting Parent Skill Building Training session to familiarize themselves with peer-help skills, like communication skills, and to become familiar with Parent to Parent and the One-to-One Match process. Supporting Parents don't provide formal counseling but do offer support and information on an informal basis. Supporting Parents don't give advice, but speak from their own experiences, and always leave decisions up to the Referred Parent. Supporting Parents understand that support, information, and access to resources are vital components in the ongoing adjustments of parenting a child with special needs. A Supporting Parent is matched with the Referred Parent around the commonality of their experiences and it is important that they be able to share their family stories. During our training we provide many opportunities for the Supporting Parent to talk about their family's experiences, different emotions, and changes in their lives, and to role-play being both the Referred Parent and Supporting Parent. Many families find the training to be a very deep emotional experience and many of the parents at the training become closer with the group as they exchange personal experiences and listen to each other's family story.

As you can see, the protocol for the matches makes the process somewhat consistent, but as each match is unique, the needs and wants of the Referred Parent and the dynamics between the two parents determine the outcome. We encourage each match to have four telephone contacts. The Efficacy Study of this Peer Support Model validated that with each call families felt more supported. During the match process the Family Support team contacts both parents as well as documents the contacts for each match. We are here to support both parents in the match, if any concerns or needs arise. It is always a pleasure to do our follow up calls and to hear how your families are doing and about the progress of your match.

Our goals are to increase the number of Supporting Parents and to cover as many different diagnoses and geographical areas as possible, as well as to continue to fine tune our data entry system for matches to reflect the special needs experiences and issues that families identify as important in their matches. We are always disappointed when we are not able to meet a request or when more time has elapsed than expected in making a match.

As Family Support Coordinators, we have watched the number of families in our database increase from 2080 a year ago to 2778 families today. The increase in numbers is also reflected in the calls for more information and support, as well as matching. Funding has been secured to hire an additional part-time Family Support Coordinator to assist with these calls and requests. With the additional staff we hope to provide more time for the One-to-One Match program, which will include outreach, training, support for Supporting Parents through phone contact and Supporting Parent Evenings to network with one another.

We want to work collaboratively with other agencies to identify families of children with special needs. Our work with the Post-Adoption Consortium has allowed us to respond to issues particular to adoptive parents. It also has given the adoptive and foster parents an opportunity to become involved with our Peer Support Network.

We'd like to encourage other professionals to refer families so that the families can decide if we have any programs or services that they'd like to access or become involved in in addition to our Match Program. The more families and diagnoses in our database, the better we can individualize the match request. Our ongoing collaborative efforts help connect parents, and also support the professional by getting their patient's family connected sooner with someone who has already been through the initial experience. Families have a wealth of knowledge to share as well as being able to provide emotional support.

We would like to encourage all of our Supporting Parents to continue to update us about the changes in your family and the issues or special needs experiences that you'd like to be matched around. We also would like to hear from any parent who would be interested in supporting another family and feels that it is a good time for you to become a trained Supporting Parent.

Author's Note:
As I was writing this article, I started reminiscing about my own family journey and I immediately recalled how helpful it was to have been given this opportunity to be matched with such a caring Supporting Parent when my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes almost 2 years ago. I wished that I had been introduced to Parent to Parent and the one-to-one match program when she was little, a preemie who developed many health concerns, followed by hospitalizations and surgeries. I was fortunate to have wonderful support through friends, family and co-workers back then but to have someone really understand my fear and sadness at seeing her so ill would have been such a comforting experience.

I realized what a gift I was given by this match when my Supporting Parent called me on Thanksgiving Day to see how we were doing and to offer kind words and suggestions! My Supporting Parent and I still talk, and our daughters have become friends and we are sometimes involved in the same activities. I can't help but think of the change in my life that she made and how her support freed me from the feeling that I needed to do it on my own. We were able to open up and ask for help and receive it nonjudgementally, as she knew exactly what we were feeling and dealing with. My Supporting Parent validated our experiences by not assuming we were not eating properly or sticking to schedules when we had a change in blood sugars. I know I can rely on her when times are unpredictable or when I need to know that we are not alone. As I write my personal experience tears well in my eyes, as her support feels as real as it did when we first spoke almost two years ago.

The wonderful thing with the Supporting Parent network is that reconnections and new matches can be made. Even when you have moved to the Supporting Parent role, you can always be matched around your needs too. My next match is already made around balancing nutritional concerns and weight loss with the diabetes, and learning all about the insulin pump. As we talked it became clear that she understood my concerns and wanted to help me find the answers we needed to succeed in reaching these goals for my daughter. So I look forward to my next phone call with my new Supporting Parent and our continued family contacts with my first Supporting Parent.